In Vietnam it is more complicated on what to call family and friends than in English.  For example, the polite way to call older people is Mr and Mrs Last Name in Western cultures.  If you are talking to your grandparents you use Gran, Granny, Pop, Granddad etc.

I got onto this topic when I asked my Vietnamese teacher why some people were called numbers.  I work with a person called Nam and Bay, 5 and 7 respectively.  He said that in families instead of using there given name, they use numbers.  For example:

• Eldest: hai (2)
• next brother or sister: ba (3)
• next brother or sister: bon (4)
• next brother or sister: nam (5)

Noting that they don’t start at one (mot).

Now this is where is gets more complicated.  If I meet a friends father I call him for example Hai (2).  However if there are a lot of Hai, then I call him Hai and then the name of his eldest son, Quan,  ie Hai Quan.  This is a cultural custom and is still practiced in the rural areas but is not as common in the urban areas now.  If you don’t call them like this it is very rude.

Also there are different words for ‘you’ depending on age and sex:

• ban – same age, friend
• Anh – older man
• chi – older woman
• Chau – baby
• Con/Chau – child
• em- younger than you
• Chu/bac – male, parents age
• Co/di – female, parents age
• ong – male, grandparents age
• ba – female, grandparents age

It explains why one of the common questions asked is ‘how old are you?’.